I'm alive!

Wow, when it rains it pours!
Things around my neck of the woods have been pretty unpredictable lately, and I don't deal well with unpredictability. Thank heavens I have an amazingly handsome and mostly understanding husband through it all.
So what has been going on that has ruffled my feathers so much?
Well to start with I went on an amazing "Girlcation" with four awesome friends! Vegas was an absolute blast and a much needed chance to reconnect with the bits of me that sometimes seem to disappear in the world of mommy-hood.

There was so much to see and do, four day was not nearly enough time to do it all. ( we may have been able to do more if we'd been smart and not tried to walk the whole strip the first day......it's a lot more walking than we were ready for). Here are a few of my favourite pictures from the trip.....






There are many, many more, but I don't want to bore you with them.
After the trip I needed a week to get my household back in its rhythm. As amazing as The Handsome One is, he just isn't Mommy. During this week there were doctors appointments, calls to schools and laundry. Lots and lots of laundry.
Then we were well into March Break, and I was able to finally see my beautiful new niece, enjoy an ice cream with my adorable nephew (his very first cone) and watch my youngest sister falling deeper in love with her growing family.





Over the next couple weeks I was busily helping my youngest two prepare for a chess tournament, and trying to light a fire under the teenaged genius who's ADHD is out of control.
There has been so much good mixed in the "missing month of March" so many moments that will be cherished. Like playing chess in the park with my youngest.

However there has also been crushing sorrow.
For the past several years I have been blessed to know an amazing woman named Kathleen. Kathleen was the chorister and choir director at church, and she also came to be a big part of my family.
I can't even begin to put into words how important her friendship came to be to me. It started out with having her teach my children piano. We had been friendly before this as I'd been in a couple choirs with her. As the piano teacher, I would pick her up and bring her to my house, about a 15 minute drive each way and we would talk about everything under the sun. I enjoyed those conversations immensely, and so did she. She invited me to join a choir that she directed at the local library. As time went on I found more and more of my time was spent in her company. We would grocery shop together and enjoy a nice lunch at new places together. I would drive her to appointments, and sometimes just go on a drive with no purpose at all. Through it all our friendship grew stronger,and I came to love this dear lady.
During this time Kathleen had had some health complications, and began to express a deepening loneliness and longing for her beloved Steve, whom had died of cancer many years before we had met. She would often tell me that aside from church related calls or meetings, she would often not speak to anyone for days (and at times weeks) on end. She felt she only had a very small handful of people in her life who truly cared for her. I was honoured to be one of them.
Despite her expression of loneliness, Kathleen was one of the most cheerful (and talented) people I have ever met. Her laughter was musical, and she took such delight in even the smallest act of kindness. I loved to listen to her tell stories of her life. She painted the scenes so vividly I often imagined I was there with her in the Wallaceburg of her youth, or on one of her drives with her friend Bev as they got lost once again. I could tell many of them by heart, they were so often retold. Each telling only made me wish I had known her longer.
On March 23 I received a call from the coroner. My dear friend Kathleen had passed away two days earlier, and her body had just been discovered. Such a lonely ending for my sweet friend.
My sorrow was crushing. I have found it difficult to go about my routine as so much of it was spent in her company. Even driving on certain streets is a minefield of memories. I feel as if I am walking a tightrope between laughter and tears. Along with my sorrow I am also filled with an almost paralysing anger.
Why anger? Although I am touched by how many people have expressed their kind thoughts and admiration of her, have declared friendship and love for her, and sadness in her passing, I am angry that these people never took the time while she was living to let her know how loved and appreciated she was. Where we're they when those weeks passed without so much as a phone call? Where were they when her cupboards were empty because she had to choose between medicine or food? Where were they when she was singing her solo with her choirs?
Despite my sorrow and grief, I am comforted with the thought of Kathleen and Steve together again, and reunited with the loved ones from her stories.
Until we meet again my dearest friend, your stories,along with the new ones I will tell of our friendship,will live in my heart.

My next blog will have some tatting, and not ramble quite so much. Those who have read all this, thank-you.
The next one won't take a month to write. Until then.......
~ Let not the wind steal dignity ~